Budget Month - Day 25

I got those wall letters this month for $5 total. I spray painted them with paint I already had and hung them on the wall with double sided tape. Budget decor, yo.

Five days to go...! It doesn't look like I have any more money to spend. Not that I've maxed out my budget, but that I literally have NOTHING due. I don't need groceries or bills paid ever again for this entire month. I need to buy some petrol but I have $75 still on that budget, which should easily get me to Maryborough and back using my little eco-savvy Astra.

I've made pies instead of buying something to bring Mother. I also need to transplant one of my purple capsicum into a pot for her, and those are my gifts. Budget-y! Score!

I also pretty much found the wedding dress I wanted too. For $290. I swear each day I do this I get better at it. My dress is $290. My shoes are $600. My husband's suit is $1100. His shoes are $500. Hahaha. I like how I played that one. Although it sounds like a lot - the suit, shoes, and hell, even the dress are all reusable! The wedding dress is plain and simple (which I wanted this whole time and is surprisingly difficult to source) and can definitely be worn multiple times. The suit is a classic Boss. The shoes for me are goldeny strappy Choo's I can wear with anything to jazz it up and men always need a nice pair of good leather shoes. It's just a given.

I am $10.01 per day behind budget. I can get away with spending $119 per day and still remain under budget. (whereas my budget overall is $170 a day, so you can see how I'm still behind). Of course I only have $75 to spend on petrol for a trip I should spend ZERO dollar at. Hell, even if Glynn and I end up going to dinner with his friends (we have tentative plans) and it comes to $100 each of us... that's still only $275 I spent and I have $600. So there we go. But I'm obviously not going to waste $200 on food. Well.. not food I can make better myself anyway.

So yeah. How's that for a little bit of Gucci and a little bit of Geese? Or a little bit of Choo and a little bit of Budget. Now find someone else who can mix THAT as well as I somehow manage. ha!

I'm still determined to be a millionaire in five years. Watch me.

Glynn's scared because I asked to look at his Super. That's incredibly personal, but I am certain I could earn him more money on it. I figure - at best I want him to succeed so we're both rich because I plan on being with him. At worse - we break up and I've set HIM up for life, which I like. Just because things don't work out doesn't mean I can't make sure the person I once loved (and always will, I know it, even if things go sour) is set for life. But of course, I did just really ask him to show me his most personal financial closet skeletons.

Either way, I've been studying super funds, hedge funds and the stock market. I know exactly where I plan to go with the money I save. I am certain I can have us saved up to $200k by December 2012. Watch.

Budget Month Day 13

Quickly, before Glynn wakes up. Today is 'no computer and no TV' day, which means money will probably be spent. Eeek. I am a whole $9 per day behind right now. I cannot wait until I can go Monday and Tuesday without spending anything so I can try to catch the fuck up, because that little tiny behind bit is really getting to me!! It makes me want to see if I can have the money gap there next month before rent, so when rent comes in I don't have to think about it.

Either way though, the gap is definitely closing. I'm being more careful. I'm even getting more work! I wanted to do so much work last night but my fiance was against working too late, which disappointed me. I would really like it if he didn't work Saturdays so that when I work, he can stay awake for the night. If I had continued on my path I would've had 6 jobs! Insane.

This month's expenses compared to last month's is really telling, though. There's amounts in there that are $500 or more below last month's amount. There's some that are not even 10% of last month's amount. And I'm almost halfway through! Even though last month I didn't budget at all and only spent and tracked, it's still a good sign.

My car insurance got cheaper, my car is being paid off.. everything is just finally starting to come together in my life in every way.

I'm hoping to be a millionare by next week.

Budget Month - Day 11

I know what you're thinking. I know exactly what you're thinking. I'm psychic and can predict all of my readers opinions at once. First, you're thinking, "Why the fuck do I continue to read this shit?" then you're thinking, "Fuck, she's posted again. It means she hasn't failed. Now I can't feel better about myself." See how I made you a loser, there? Why DO you read me, anyway? You'll never grow up to be a doctor. This is why I like your sister more than you. At least SHE will take care of me when I'm old. ....ah fuck, sorry, I have Jewish Mother Syndrome. It's like Tourette's, but with guilt.

Honestly - I could be doing better at this. I'm currently sitting at $159.43/$182.94. So... that's not better. And honestly I could say, "But you know, I don't have bills for a week!" Which is... kinda what I said last week. Keeping this pattern up will have me a week from my goal with no money left to spend and I was really hoping I could do a 'ha watch me budget well ALL month' instead of a 'watch me fuck it up in 15 days and spend the next 15 as a miser'. So. Gonna try THAT. The first one, not the miser one.

So, I've been living a lie. I've been drinking dehydrated coffee. If you know me (and you should, otherwise you're some pervert reading my blog for cheap budget thrills, you sicko) then you know I love my coffee. So much so, my machine resembles something out of a Sci-fi movie and my coffee tends to be handpicked off mountain tops. I'm a spoiled bitch.

In order to get new coffee, I either have to suck it up and by some cheap local brand I can't really stand for $34 or drive to my favourite coffee place (40km and about an hour and a half because it's on a mountain) and spend $20 on a new bag. And you know what? My petrol budget is kinda not looking so great right now. I could take the motorbike - but it's out of rego and getting caught ain't cheap either. So... dehydrated coffee. My bowels are fighting me in this battle. They are losing. DIE BOWELS DIE!

I called again about my missing cheque and it should be here today. Some of my lettuces died and I'm hoping planting my brussel sprouts there is alright for them, because those are the plants I hadn't budgeted for transplanting. We haven't bought a truck, there's food in the fridge and cupboard, bills are 100% caught up and I've squirreled away $250 in savings already from this month.

So I'm not doing bad. But I'm not doing great. Us Jews call that "Meh."

Budget Month - Day 1 Revisted

It's the afternoon of Day 1 and I've managed to not spend a damn cent! Not bad considering how I've spent the day lounging in my own home, not even leaving for a second. Well, we can't have a social life AND a budget, can we? Ha, joke's on you! Like I've ever had a social life...

So, this is my fruit and veg box. I know, I know, I do remember what I said in my Nothing But An Apron about these boxes, but I'm going to have renig that. I was wrong. I suck. I fail. Turns out I joined at the worst time in the existence of food, so my first few boxes sucked. I'm better at it now. Included in my box this week was:

1 pineapple
3 lemons and 1 lime in a bag
1 lemon and 1 lime not in a bag (I have NO idea)
1 biodynamic bunch of parsley (damn hippies)
1 corn
1 head of lettuce
1 broccoli
2 avocados
1 orange the size of my damn head
3 mandarins
7 apples
5 bananas
2 sweet potatoes
1 giant ginger root
5 potatoes
11 roma tomatoes
5 finger eggplants
2 zucchini
1 capsicum
1 radish
4 mushrooms
1 bunch spinach

So... this is the fruit and veg I have to work with for the week. I always hated that I got a large variety but not many of each thing. I am definitely more of a 'use a lot of things to make a giant batch' kind of person that I am a 'oh yay I can use my two limes to make a gin and tonic' (ooooh gin and tonic... be right back).

Okay, I lied. I don't put limes in my gin and tonic - so they're safe. But now I have a gin and tonic (no really, I do). So my day gets better. I'm running out of gin. I did not budget liquor into my expenses. Curses.

So, first things first - let's start somewhere. How does the damn eggplant sound? What does a person do with 5 eggplants that vaguely resemble, well, I'm pretty sure I can't say 'a dick' on my blog. Oh darn. Too late now. Anyway - I've got 5 mini eggplants that probably don't even equal one big one and I need to use them.

Well, there's the obvious sauteed baby eggplants, but I think I want something more substantial. Especially since the recipe calls for six. I have five. No, I'm not a moron, I'm being funny. Oddly enough, I DO have mirin, of all things. Hello Lover, what is this recipe? A recipe that uses both the bag of split peas I've had in the cupboard for ages (yes, I really do have everything) as well as my eggplant, as well as some capers (yes, everything), tomatoes AND fresh lemon juice. So let me get this straight, in this recipe I get to use:

1 lemon
5 eggplants
6 roma tomatoes (in place of the two tomatoes)
AND my giant store of split peas

And for dessert, I've been eyeing off this lovely mini upside down pineapple cakes recipe. So that means I'm down one pineapple. I didn't use last week's either - so I still have a pineapple. DAMN.

Small problem: I don't have the onion for the split peas. Solution: use green onion. Nobody will notice. Shhh. Should I just got out and buy a damn onion?

Well, according to my budget I am allowed to spend $159.43 a day. Thus, I am going to say I am $159.43 ahead today. Ignore the fact rent is due tomorrow and let me be happy at my hundred fifty, okay?

I'm not buying the damn onion. I can do this.

Budget Month - Day 1

You've got to be kidding me, right? I write up that post last night and my lovely wonderful fiance comes home and announces to me, "Guess what I found!?" After guessing (why do I play this game?) I was confronted with a picture of a truck. Not just any truck. A vintage truck - the exact kind I described to him as my favourite type of vintage car. With the rounded frame and the fat nose.

"We are NOT getting a truck," I say.
"It's only five hundred dollars!" he pleads.
"Well you either have to buy it in the next 3 hours or next month."
"I was going to buy it next week."
"Can you wait, like, one month?" I am almost begging I think. I can feel my cookbook slipping out of my hands.
"If I don't buy it, my dad said he would," he said, sadly, almost regretfully.
"You've talked about it with your dad already!?" Why did I not see this coming?
"We could work on it together! It's the truck you've always wanted and it's cheap and it RUNS!"

Fuckety. Really? Really really? Couldn't give me a day, universe? Not one damn stinkin' motherfuckin' day? I don't want a truck (okay, I do), I want my damn cookbook!

So. I don't think we're actually buying it. Hopefully. He does this a lot, comes home and says, "Look what I found!" Once it was a tractor. Another time it was an excavator. A third time, it was two excavators - because, and I quote, "So you can have one too!" because we obviously don't live in the suburbs and if we had plenty of land would excavate..at the same time?

I have spent nothing as of this very moment. And currently I believe my husband is on the phone, trying to see if we can do a trade or a deal so I can stick to my budget and he can get his damn truck.

Curse you.

Edit: GAH! I just realized I promised a friend I'd take her out to lunch tomorrow and another friend I'd go with her to Sex and The City 2 Gold Class - which is $40 a ticket. Obviously my mentality was not in 'better budget' a week ago when I made these promises. Curses! By day two I'll have squandered some of my hard-saved money. Damn.

Budget Month - Tighten Them Purse Strings Ahoy!

My fiance and I have been working on a budget for a month now. We've been writing down everything we buy and inputting our income into our Handy Dandy (patent pending) iPhones with our Handy Dandy (patent pending) Budgeting Program, called HomeBudget.

I gave us a budget to begin with without a clue what our actual spending was. Well... we exceeded that by $1713.87. Seventeen hundred fricken dollars over this made-up budget I did. And after I went through every expense for the month you know what I discovered?

My estimates of my budget were fair.

I only went over about $100 per category on my budget. Problem is - there's lots of categories. Second problem is - I could've totally stayed in my budget for those things! So the budget hasn't changed at all - just my mentality has. It's the 31st of May in this country and the 1st of June starts tomorrow.

I have purchased one large soap order today as well as the last of my seeds for sowing for awhile and this is it for expenses for me that do not fall into my budget. And y'know what? I'm gonna fricken blog about it. Why not? I won't be terribly specific but I'm gonna need to be a little so I can STICK in my budget.

You know if I stick to my budget for ONE month I can be entirely free of debt? One month. 30 days. Debt free. But. I'm a moron. I love shoes and food and chickens.

So here's a few of the plans:

I get my fruit and veg deliveredon Tuesdays - Tuesday night I'm going to write a menu for the week using as many fruits and vegetables as possible from my delivery. That's right. Me. Going to write a menu. I've been checking out heaps of blogs for ideas and awesome recipes to use even though I have no idea what I'm getting. I can guess, since it's all seasonal, but I don't know for sure.

I will not buy any cookbooks this month. I will not even buy them on Kindle. I will not buy them with a pen, I will not buy them with a hen. I will not buy cookbooks with a chook, I will not buy cookbooks with another book. I will not buy them with a cow, I will not buy them ANYHOW.

I will scour Kindle for free books. Why not? I'm sure I'll find some oldie-but-goodie I'll love. I really used to love love love John Steinbeck as a kid, so I don't see why I can't download some of his goods for free (they're free, right?) and read those instead of spending ten bucks a week (we'll say a week, so we can pretend I don't spend all day reading books on my phone) on the Dresden Files. Which, by the way, I love and am only halfway through. NO DRESDEN UNTIL JULY. Also, I am downloading the series. Don't tell the government.

I have planted tomato, brussel sprout and salad seedlings. This should last me awhile. The tomatos are already fruiting little green babies, so this will save me some money.

If I have spent $499 in food and my budget is $500 and I have a week left - TOUGH COOKIES BITCH. I still have a dollar. Better spend it wisely!

So. Every week or so I will post my budget and how far along I am in it. Y'know, commit myself so you guys can laugh/yell at me if I fail. Or congratulate me if I don't. Or give me free food if I fail on day 4. Y'know, what friends do.

Budget for June:
Rent - $1440
Utilities - $800 (includes phone/internet/TV/elect*/gas)
Groceries - $500
Restaurant - $100
Pet Food (remember, we have 30 'pets') - $130
Clothing - $100
Personal (soap, girly things, etc) - $50
Toys - $20 (I'm married to a boy, what can I say?)
Books - $40
Kitchen - $50
Homewares - $50 (decorative, etc whereas above is supplies)
Gym - $89 (exactly the amount per month for both of us)
Dates - $300 (includes eating out together while restaurants includes eating out by ourselves)
Petrol - $100 (I overspent by $108 this month!)
Car Loan - $400 (we're trying to pay this off quickly, this is not our actual payment, lol)
Rego - $55
Parking - $20
Auto Insurance - $~~~ (I have $212 but I JUST got a HUGE cut and I don't know what the amount is yet, but should be $80ish)
Home Insurance - $60
Medical Insurance - $186
Gifts - $150 (yeah, I know - just cause it's there don't mean I'll use it**)

I also had advertising and plants listed as expenses with no budget. Advertising I spent about $30 this month on for Nothing But An Apron and Plants I managed to spend $249.00 on. And no, I didn't buy "plants" with that, I bought plants. I know I know, not as fun when it's only an apple tree....

*we're currently paying off a HUGE electric bill
**who am I kidding? I'll use it.

Also, while I'm aware my gift budget is higher than my own personal items budget - I went over THAT by $90 this month. EEEK! So cutting back, I am. A lot of those numbers are 'just in case' numbers. Like.. I've budgeted for it but it doesn't mean I'll use it.

If I stick to this budget I will save... *drumroll*

$1713.87 - I already said that, don't you pay attention?

Where will this $1713.87 go? INTO MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT YO. Well. No. $1000 will go to paying off my damn credit card to below the overlimit so I stop getting monthly "BAM $80 interest OOPS now you're over BAM $40 overlimit OOPS now we gotta charge you interest on that BAM $20" bull.

The other $700 will stay in my Savings.

And in July, Glynn gets a raise. And in July, I plan on sticking to my budget. Or better still... lowering it.

For all this I will... buy myself a cookbook. But not just ANY cookbook. If I STICK TO MY BUDGET AND ONLY IF IT STICK TO MY BUDGET I WILL BUY:

And yes, I am aware of the irony of not buying cookbooks for a month just to reward myself with a cookbook for the efforts. Don't judge me.