I am not Bridezilla.

There is something that needs to be said and I have a place to say it, so I'm going to. I am sick and tired of hearing the word "Bridezilla" being thrown around the second a bride has an opinion. Does that sounds familiar to you? Or does the bitch who also speaks her mind have something to say about it?

Women aren't allowed to complain. They can't be angry that they were charged a $300 for a stained dress and never got a refund. If they do, they're a 'Bridezilla'.

Women aren't allowed to be firm and steadfast. They can't be set on having their wedding under a specific tree because it's slightly out of town. That's unreasonable, 'Bridezilla'.

Women aren't allowed to question the prices of items. Why is a wedding dress $2000 when a prom dress in the same exact style $200? Don't question, just buy it, or you're a 'Bridezilla'.

Women can't be angry. Did one of her guests just ask her to change her entire menu around him a THIRD time, only a week before the wedding after all the supplies were purchased? Nope, if she gets mad and doesn't accomadate him, she's being "such a Bridezilla!".

Oh she's so sensitive because of the wedding. Oh she wants it her way because of the wedding. Better not upset her, she's getting married, she's a Bridezilla! Oh did you hear she's really angry because the caterer served lobster at her Jewish wedding? She shouldn't be such a Bridezilla! I mean, she got the lobster for the price of beef, what is she being such a Bridezilla about? The fact she can't eat it? Fucking Bridezilla.

I'm here to say I'm SICK of it. And for the love of all that is holy, me saying this is ALSO not being a Bridezilla.

Why? Because I KNOW I'm not the only one. I know there's engaged women who feel they can't say a word about how they feel because they might get labelled as being unreasonable women. Bitches without the same word. It's just another thing women can call women to make them feel torn apart and men can call women to excuse "their behaviour" and not take them seriously.

If I WASN'T getting married and someone charged me for a $300 dress that arrived stained and I never got the refund would I be a Bridezilla then? NO. I'd be a reasonable human being, wouldn't I?

If I WASN'T getting married and was having a birthday party under that tree, would I be unreasonable? NO. I'd simply want my party there.

If I WASN'T getting married would I still be expected to pay $2000 for a $200 dress? Nope. I'd be thrifty and smart.

If I WASN'T getting married and someone said to me that the birthday cake I had at my party better be dairy free after I already made it gluten free for the SAME person when they requested it, NOBODY would get mad at me for not making another one, would they!? No. They'd be greatful I went out of my way to make the gluten free cake to BEGIN with.

But no, because I (we!) am (are!) getting married, I'm unreasonable. I'm bitchy. I'm not allowed to complain. I'm not allowed to feel like you're ripping me off and I'm certainly not allowed to tell you you're ripping me off. I'm simply not allowed to stand up for myself.

And that, my friends, is bullshit.

All the brides out there!! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Question the $2000 dresses and inlaws that ask you to PAY for their full plane and hotel costs and then book a super expensive hotel!!

Remember to tell them NO you really CAN'T afford to do that and NO you're not being unreasonable in asking them to pick a more reasonable hotel and NO you're not being unreasonable for thinking they should pay their hotel to begin with!

I'm looking at you, father of the bride at that last wedding I went to. You're a jerk. Your daughter? IS NOT A BRIDEZILLA.

You've done your best to accomodate everyone but yourself and yet people keep telling you it's 'your' day. Really? Yours!? Then why are you unreasonable for wanting an unstained dress and a full refund? Why are you unreasonable for buying a black suit and getting a blue one? In the world of NON-WEDDINGS, it's perfectly reasonable to be upset when you spend a lot of money on things and DON'T GET THOSE THINGS.

SO GO. RETURN THAT DRESS. DEMAND THAT REFUND. SAY NO TO LIMOS FOR THE KIDS. SAY NO TO THAT AUNT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT THERE. She's just going to call you a bitch and then ruin your day and make a comment on your dress and you KNOW it. Everyone knows it! But you're a fucking Bridezilla if you don't invite her and spend $200 on her food so she can give you a used toaster an unsolicited advice about your sexual history.

And I know every single bride out there can relate with SOMETHING I have said. I know it. I know you've been told you're being unreasonable. I know you've invited someone you didn't want to because you feared the backlash and how it would make you look. I know you've gotten ripped off on some item for the wedding and were made to feel you couldn't discuss it. Heck, I know you were also probably bait and switched in quality AND price at the very last minute and HAD no choice but to spend $300 more for plastic tables when you ordered wood.

And you know what? I'm done. I'm done accepting it. I'm done not being called names because I HAPPEN to be getting married around the time I am purchasing lots of items or trusting in lots of people. It's not FAIR and it NEEDS to be said.

STOP calling brides Bridezillas when they have an opinion!! You too! I'm not just here on behalf of brides! One of you has DONE it. Remember your wedding? Or if you haven't had one, think about all the tiny details that go into it. Flowers, invites, friends, colours, locations, money, money, money... and you honestly, honestly, can't get TOO upset when she says she can't afford to accomodate a special request from you?

She's probably gotten a special request from EVERYONE and try as she might.. try as she might.. she just can't get to all of them. I'm not saying she's out to purposefully step on your hopes of riding an elephant to the ceremony, but she really honestly just doesn't have large mammal parking, sorry. So don't call her names. Just take the car.

The bride isn't trying to hurt you by having her wedding under that tree, she just really really loves that tree and damnit... you love her, right? So stop complaining and do the ONE thing she asked without calling her names for asking for it! You keep saying you'd give her anything.. so fucking do it!

And that's all I have to say.

- Not a Bitch. Not a Bridezilla. Just Elizabeth. Just me.

Edit: Brides! Future Brides! Faux Bridezilla witnesses! Post your stories here! What happened to you where you were made to feel you couldn't fight back just because you were a bride? What were you forced to put up with for the sake of not being 'difficult'?!

Budget Month - Day 4 Revisted

Bah, this is my blog, I can post if I want to. At least my posts have substance. I needed to get this out because it made me cry. I failed big time today - not at budgeting, just at *trying* to save money.

First my car was blinking hecticly at me for more fuel. Please, it blinked, give me something to eat, I'm hungry. Knowing now that the local petrol station is a rip off, I decided to chance it and go to a Caltex because I have a $.04 a litre fuel voucher from Woolworths. Watching it blink more sporadically as I got stuck behind a bobcat trailer was the worst part. Finally I get to the petrol station, put in $30 and proudly hand over my voucher going, Gee, this will save me eighty cents!

"I'm sorry we don't accept those."
"What? You're a Caltex!"
"Yeah but we're not a WOOLWORTHS Caltex. We're just a regular Caltex. That'll be $30."

So I failed at saving money there.

Then, I was on my way to the bank in a pretty big rush because when I called Medibank they told me the money was already set to come out (but I changed next month's to be easier on my banking system) and my account was short. When I got there, the money was already out - so I was in the negative in my account. Luckily, I got there in time to avoid overdraft fees, but I wasn't there in time to get a downright embarassing reaming from the teller about how she wasn't sure I could give her money (?!) because I was over, ladadada, go to hell. Not her saying to me go to hell, but me saying it to her. In my brain. Because I have no testicles for that.

So after failing once, then failing again.. I kinda just cried. I cried because I was humiliated at the bank during the worst time possible - when I was actually trying.

Then, as usual, I became the person I always become immediately after crying: Determined Woman. Oh, I don't know if you've met Determined Woman, but she's damn determined. "Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit to hell!" I said to myself, because I curse in my brain quite frequently. I stood up, marched into a bunch of stores and demanded jobs.

I am free every day but weekend nights, I can sell a cow to a horse and, at the health stores, I made sure to mention I was a nutrition student. At Harrison's, the beauty shop, I mentioned I make soaps and lotions and even displayed my knowledge in additives by describing their properties while showingly reading the first label I picked up. I was smooth. I would've hired me. If I can sell a cow to a horse, you should see what happens when I want to sell myself to an employer. It's magic.

So I was promised a heap of calls and nods and smiles and went on my determined way. I was not done! No! I went home and I called the magazine that had published me and never paid me. I had contacted them three weeks ago with no materialization of my cheque. I discovered that they had been confused by my statement of "I never got the cheque for $750" because, as it turns out, the cheque was for ONE THOUSAND dollars. Not seven fifty.

So now they're resending it. $250 more than I orginally thought I earned. That's right folks, determined as fuck me just managed to most probably get a second job AND get $1000 in a single day because someone humilated me. That's just how I roll.

At the mall I saw a gold buying place as well. I have an engagement ring from my ex I used to like until my soon-to-be husband bought the giant ring I currently own, which blew my ex's out of the water by like, oh, 10x the price. Let's ignore the fact my ex made me pay for my own ring anyway. So, it's not like it has good memories. I paid $600 for the ring. $200, hell, $100, would make me part with it. So I'm gathering that and a couple other things my mother gave me that I never liked (and aren't heirlooms) and I'm going to sell those.

Am I done there? NO! Fucking bitch at the bank who embarassed me, you have NO idea what I will do to prove to you I'm not some broke bitch who's going through a hard time - nope. In a month you're gonna see - my credit card will be paid off, Glynn gets his raise, and I'll have made thousands of dollars worth of deposits not counting the new job I'm certain I'm getting.

I'm also calling photographers today*. They promised me a large job shortly and I think it's about time they gave it to me. I'm going to demand to work with them in about, oh, five minutes.

I've also managed to get my health care switched to the middle of the month and Foxtel switched to around day 9 of the month, so that the first week I can focus on the car, electricity and insurance payments. I've made shit easier.

So what do I have to say to money right now?

Bring it on.

*Edit: DONE! I called them. Hopefully I will have more work very shortly.